Miles Apart
by nature-girlie
Summary: LIT! AU! Is it so easy to forvige? R
1. Default Chapter

**Miles apart**

Rating: T

Chapter: 1

Disclaimer: GG belongs to ASP.. Songs (in _italics_) belongs to Yellowcard... Angels cry is song by finnish May I Cry (small band) and How Can I miss you is song by Hanna Pakarinen (BMG Finland).

A/N: Listening Yellowcard was my source of inspiration... AU! This contains lots and lots of lyrics... Dunno if that makes this a songfic... lol.. R&R! Lit!

* * *

Rory was sitting in her office room. Last year she graduated from Yale and got a job from The New York Times. It had been over 5 years that she'd seen Jess. He hadn't even come to his mothers, Liz's, and stepdads, TJ's, wedding. She had been dating few guys, but nothing serious. Dean had taken her virginity, and Logan had just been no strings-attached thing. She wasn't seeing anyone at the moment. She heard a knock on her door and went to open the door. Delivery man was standing next to her and he had a small packet in his hands. 

"Are you Rory Gilmore?"

"Yes I am."

"This is for you. Sign please" said the delivery man and Rory signed the paper. Man offered the packet to Rory and left. Rory walked to her room and sat down. Slowly she opened the packet, she hadn't ordered anything and there wasn't noclue of the sender. A cd, a small envelope and a note. She noticed the handwriting immediately, she had read words written by that handwriting so many times.

_**Rory,**_

**_I know you're thinking right now the reason why I'm writing this to you. Please just listen the cd. And then read the envelope. I don't know if you have hear the band Blue eyes before, but well that's our first album. It's going to be out in four weeks. I just thought to send that to you before it's out._**

_**Love, Jess**_

Rory looked at the cd for a while. She opened the covers and took the songlyrics book to her hands. She was in awe, since she noticed Jess had written lyrics to four songs himself and co-written two of the ten song in the album. There were dedication under the four Jess-written songs.. to blue eye, my love... Rory wondered who was his blue eye. Yes she had blue eyes, but no way after five years he couldn't be thinking about her anymore. Though she thought Jess every now and then.. Rory put the cd to her player and clicked to the first song Jess had written. One Year, Six months. Rory listened to the words in silence.

_Sew this up with threads of reason and regret  
So I will not forget. I will not forget  
How this felt one year six months ago  
I know I cannot forget. I cannot forget_

_I'm falling into memories of you, things we used to do  
Follow me there  
A beautiful somewhere  
A place that I can share with you_

_I can tell that you don't know me anymore  
It's easy to forget, sometimes we just forget  
And being on this road is anything but sure  
Maybe we'll forget, I hope we don't forget_

_So many nights, legs tangled tight  
Wrap me up in a dream with you  
Close up these eyes, try not to cry  
All that I've got to pull me through is memories of you  
Memories of you  
Memories of you  
Memories of you_

_I'm falling into memories of you ,things we used to do  
Follow me there  
A beautiful somewhere  
A place that we can share  
Falling into memories of you ,things we used to do._

Could Jess written this to her, rory thought. She heard knock on the door and clicked pause. Rory's assistant Hannah opened the door.

"Do you need me anymore today? I mean it's seven all ready"

"No no.. go ahead. I'll be heading home soon as well."

After Hannah had closed the door, Rory clicked play from her player. Next song was Miles apart.

_If I could I would do all of this again  
Travel back in time with you to where this all began  
We could hide inside ourselves and leave the world behind  
And make believe there's something left to find_

_We'll be miles apart  
I'll keep you deep inside  
You're always in my heart  
A new life to start  
I may be leaving but you're always in my heart_

_Now we've all grown up, gone on and moved away  
Nothing I can do about it, nothing I can say  
To bring us back to where we were when life was not this hard  
Looking back it all just seems so far, so far away_

_We'll be miles apart  
I'll keep you deep inside  
You're always in my heart  
A new life to start  
I may be leaving but you're always in my heart_

_I'd give it up for just one more day with you  
Give it up for just one more day  
I'd give it up for just one more day with you_

_I'd give it up for just one more day with you  
Give it up for just one more day  
I'd give it up for just one more day with you_

_I'd give it up for just one more day with you  
Give it up, give it all away  
I'd give it up for just one more day with you_

_We'll be miles apart  
I'll keep you deep inside  
You're always in my heart  
A new life to start  
I may be leaving but you're always in my heart_

_I need you now, we're miles apart  
I'll keep you deep inside  
You're always in my heart  
I need you now, we're miles apart  
I may be leaving but you're always in my heart_

Could it be that Jess really had written the song thinking Rory. That was the thing what Rory thought while listening next song called Back home.

_Don't know what I was looking for when I went home, I found me alone  
And sometimes I need someone to say, "You'll be all right. What's on your mind?"  
But the water's shallow here and I am full of fear, and empty handed after two long years_

_Another sunny day in Californ-i-a  
I'm sure back home they'd love to see it  
But they don't know that what you love is ripped away  
Before you get a chance to feel it_

_Back home I always thought I wanted so much more, now I'm not too sure  
Cause sometimes I miss knowing someone's there for me and feeling free  
Free to stand beside the ocean in moonlight  
And light myself a smoke beneath the dark Atlantic sky_

_Another sunny day in Californ-i-a  
I'm sure back home they'd love to see it  
But they don't know that what you love is ripped away  
Before you get a chance, before you get a chance to feel it_

_Everybody here is living life in fear of falling out of line  
Tearing lives apart and breaking lots of hearts just to pass the time  
And the eyes get red in the back of your head, this place will make you blind  
Put it all behind me and I'll be just fine_

_Another sunny day beneath this cloudless sky  
Sometimes I wish that it would rain here  
And wash away the west coast dreaming from my eyes  
There's nothing real for them to see here_

_Another starry night in Californ-i-a  
I'm sure back home they'd love to see it  
But they don't know that what you love is ripped away  
Before you get a chance, before you get a chance to feel it_

There was only one song left from those that Jess had written. Maybe it would give the answer she thought as she clicked track 7 Only one.

_Broken this fragile thing now  
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces  
And I've thrown my words all around  
But I can't, I can't give you a reason_

_I feel so broken up (so broken up)  
And I give up (I give up)  
I just want to tell you so you know_

_(Chorus)  
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try get to you  
You are my only one  
I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do  
You are my only, my only one_

_Made my mistakes, let you down  
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long  
Ran my whole life in the ground  
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone_

_And something's breaking up (breaking up)  
I feel like giving up (like giving up)  
I won't walk out until you know_

_(Chorus)  
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try get to you  
You are my only one  
I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do  
You are my only my only one_

_(Interlude)_

_Here I go...so dishonestly leave a note for you my only one  
And I know...you can see right through me  
So let me go...and you will find some one_

_Here I go, scream my lungs out and try get to you  
You are my only one  
I let go, there's just no one...no one like you  
You are my only my only one  
My only one(x3)  
You are my only my only one!_

She flipped the lyrics book to the page where thank you's stood.

Jess wants to thank:

Blue eye, you're my love. I'm sorry for leaving.  
Luke, I let you down, I'm sorry.

Liz, TJ – in some strange way i love you  
Jimmy, Sasha, Lily- without you i wouldn't be here

Taylor – just thanks for being such a jerk  
Dean - whatta hell am I thanking you for!

She started to cry and laugh at the same time. Jess really had missed her. Rory didn't even know if Jess knew that Luke and Lorelai had gotten married. But why in hell had he thanked Taylor and Dean.. well the irony..

As the two other songs, Angels Cry and How can I miss you played on the background Rory opened the envelope and took the letter out.

**Hey Blue eye,**

**Yes it is you. I love you. **

**I know it has been five years since we've met, but I still think about you every day. I met Petteri and Marko here in California, they're two Finnish guys and hell they can play guitars. We were just chatting about music in UCLA campus and we decided to start a band. It took a while, well almost fours years, to get a recording deal and then we've been in studio and playing gigs. But everyday I'm regretting the decision that I made, leaving you there, not saying goodbye. I got your address from Luke. I called him last week and we talked things thru. We're having a concert there in NY next month, and I really want to see you. I'll be waiting for you in the cd-store where we when you visited me years back. I'll be there next wednesday around 6pm. I really hope to see you there. But if you don't, i just have to understand it then. There's two tickets to our concert as well in the envelope. I send tickets to Luke and Lorelai as well. Use the other one in a way you want, if you have a boyfriend took him with or take Lane or something.**

**Love you.**

**Jess.**

She was in tears now, taking her bag and dialing her mothers number to her phone she left the building.

"Mom. I'm coming over."

* * *

A/N: I though i'd made this only a oneparter.. but well since i drove a car crash yesterday i think i'm going to leave it here. Another chapter coming soon, if you think i should write one.. so please Review (you can do that by clicking that GO button _:D_ ) 


	2. They'll meet again

**Miles apart**

Rating: T

Chapter: 2

Disclaimer: GG belongs to ASP. Miles apart is a song by Yellowcard. Angels cry and I want you are song by Finnish May I Cry (small band) and How Can I miss you is song by Hanna Pakarinen (BMG Finland).

A/N: Here we go again :) Thanks for the reviews. I know Jess is a bit OOC, but hey, he isn't the same he used to be!

* * *

It was Wednesday morning. She had received the letter from Jess on Friday and she had spent weekend in Stars Hollow, speaking with her mother about Jess. Sure he seemed to miss her; yes he had told he loved her but still. Was that still enough? Lorelai surprisingly said it was. Lorelai believed that Jess had grown up. 

Rory was driving to work. Still she hadn't decided if she was going to meet Jess or not. The concert tickets were for Thursday and she already had taken day off to go there. After all, preparing to that kind of event wasn't easy, picking the right clothes wasn't the easiest possible thing…

She walked in her office and put her coat on the coat hanger and to a closet. The cd-covers, _The Blue Eyes_ cd-covers,were laying there on her desk. The cd was in the player. She walked to it and clicked play. The music playing on the background she started to write her next column.

_**I want you**_

_After midnight Im walking home alone  
the lights of suburb have left behind  
I try to listen to my broken heart  
fallen silent long ago and Im about to lose my faith again_

_I´ve been trying to find an innocent love  
my path has been hiding far too long  
where are you know when I need you the most  
I see your shadow you must be close_

_  
(chorus) _

_Where are you now  
In me dreams I see your eyes so blue and bright  
My emotions I cant fight  
I want you  
So Where are you now  
Im just too steps behind yet I cant find you  
If love isnt a crime  
I want you_

_Today feels like yesterday  
Im so lost I cant find my way  
Looking the mirrow I can´t see my face  
Somehow I know you must feel the same  
why are you about to lose your faith again_

_Lets turn the lights on to this empty stage_

_aflame with desire we are born again _

I close my eyes, wont you be mine  
holding your hand though Im all alone

_Somewhere there must be a place where we  
are allowed to breath  
As time stands still Well make it real_

_----_

_**Angels cry**_

_From day to day I hear your words begging me to stay_

_Blinded by the rain, I cant look out...not today_

_My heart is tied to the tears I love, Ill seize the end_

_Colour my feelings gray and pale, we will meet again_

_(Chorus)_

_I want to fall away, theres nothing left to say_

_I need a place to hide, show me where angels cry_

_I want to fall away, there s nothing to explain _

_I want to touch the sky, show me where angels cry_

_I know Im wrong, but Im crawling back for more_

_I know Im wrong but I cant resist the taste of a broken heart_

_Youve seen me before youve senn me cry, so lost inside_

_Out lust for life tastes like wine...silent signs_

_After all the days are gone, waiting fo the dawn_

_Whispering voices command me to fall, again its you my love..._

_---_

_**How can I miss you** _

_you were right, i was wrong _

_it doesn't mean, i want you gone _

_takin' it easy, just hangin' out _

_even when i'm happy, seems that you're in doubt _

_well, it's all about communication _

_so, i say this for your information _

_just because i like you, don't mean i need you _

_you don't have to be here every day _

_just because i'm with you, don't mean i have to _

_i don't wanna diss you _

_but how can i miss you _

_when you never go away _

_can get too much of something good _

_you always call me, cause you think you should _

_just relax and let it be _

_i'll come around, eventually _

_let's make certain what is fact or fiction _

_though it may sound like a contradiction _

_just because i like you... _

_i don't need a long vacation _

_but, now and then, just pass my station _

_how i wish you understood _

_that i don't wanna diss you _

_i just wanna miss you _

_just because i like you..._

_---_

Suddenly Rory noticed it was already 5.15 pm and she still hadn't decided whether to go or not. The cd-store wasn't that far away from her office but that wasn't the thing. She wasn't sure if she should meet him. There is a reason why she wasn't dating anyone at the moment. There is a reason why she hasn't really even been dating in the past five years. She just wasn't able to do that, because of Jess.

It was ten of six when Jess stepped in to that cd-store. He was praying and wishing that Rory would arrive. He had been nervous all day. He had no idea if Rory was coming or not.

Rory was walking towards the cd-store. She wasn't really sure was meeting Jess the best possible thing to do. Was she ready to meet him? What would she say? She knew she still loved Jess. But Jess didn't know that. And Rory, to tell the truth, didn't even know if she wanted Jess to know that. Rory wasn't sure if it was just better to be without him. As she entered the cd-store she immediately noticed Jess. He was facing the wall and didn't notice her come. She walked towards him and stopped right behind him.

Jess knew immediately when Rory stepped in the store. The air had changed. He felt her moving towards him, finally stopping right behind him. He had been planning what to say to her, but now it felt like he didn't remember anything what he had planned. But still he turned around.

"Hi." It was Rory who said that. She was the one to take the first step.

"Hi."

They pretty much were just standing there. Not knowing what to say. Rory thought Jess hadn't really changed during the time away, outside that is. To hear him singing and then reading the lyrics he had written showed totally different side of him to her. Jess standing in front of her wearing black t-shirt and blackish jeans. Jess didn't believe his eyes when he saw her. She was so beautiful. Her hair was pretty much as long as it was when he had seen her last time. Normal but still fashionable skirt and blouse were the clothes she was wearing.

"Um.. You wanna go and have coffee?" Jess asked. That probably was the best thing to do.

"Yeah. There's a coffee place not far from here."

They walked silently to the coffee place. Walking side by side, hands almost, not quite, touching. They both ordered a cup of coffee and sat down.

"I was surprised to hear from you. More surprised to hear you sing."

"Uhh. Yeah. Well. It just fit me well."

"That it did. I love your songs. You're talented Jess."

"Thanks. It means lot to me."

"Thanks to you to."

"Why?"

"For dedicating those songs to me."

"Oh. Well. Why wouldn't I."

"Why did you?"

"Because you are the thing I've been thinking about every day, every night, every hour and minute. You're on my mind 24/7", Jess said looking deep into Rory's eyes taking a hold of her hands as well. "I have missed you so much. What I wrote is true. I love you Rory."

Tears were flowing freely down Rory's face. Yes she had read those words on his letter, but hearing them.

"I love you Rory, I really do." He said again and rose up and took her to his embrace.

"I love you" he whispered to her ear and hugged her.

"I love you too Jess." Rory said and took a step away from him. Jess stared to her eyes as Rory stared to his. Slowly their lips met. Kiss full of passion, full of tenderness, full of love.

A/n: Sorry it took a while to write another chapter. More is to come. The concert is coming next. Thanks for reviewing, I'd be really glad if you do that again (it's so simple, only click that GO-button.) N-G


	3. I can't, I just can't

**Miles apart**

Rating: T

Chapter: 3

Disclaimer: GG belongs to ASP.

A/N: Here we go again :) I know Jess is a bit OOC, but hey, he isn't the same he used to be! And answer to your question _jessandrory4ever_ comes with this chappy :)

* * *

Rory and Jess had spent the evening together. Kissing, getting to know each other again. It was almost two in the night when Rory came home, after giving Jess a lift to his hotel.

Rory stepped in to her small condo and dropped the keys to a small bowl. She took her coat and put in to a coat rack. She walked to her bedroom, changed her clothes and fall down to her bed.

Is this wise? She though. I met him today. How can I fall in love with him again? How? Why? I just went with my feelings. Is this right?

He left me five years ago; suddenly he just sends me a letter and a cd. And then we meet. Confessing our never ending love. Who says he isn't going to leave me now. Who says if this is what he wants? DO I want this?

He has his job now, he's a singer. He won't be able to stay here all the time. I work for New York Times, I have to be here. Singing is his dream, I can't ask him to stop doing it. Writing is my dream; I don't want to stop doing it.

It was nearly five am in the morning when she finally fell asleep. She woke up around ten when she heard someone knocking her apartment door. Lane, who she had invited to go to the concert with her, was there, holding a cup of coffee. As Lane had come in and Rory had taken the first sip of the coffee they both walked to the kitchen. As Rory started to look for something to eat Lane asked.

"How was the night?"

" Good. ugh.. I believe so.."

"What what's wrong?"

"Nothing, It was so fun and I had missed him. But I don't know it this is right."

"He said he loves you?"

"Yes."

"You said you love him?"

"Yes.

"He said he's sorry for leaving you?"

"Yes he did."

"He explained why he had left."

"Yes he did. It wasn't me. It wasn't the party. It wasn't the sex thing."

"oh. What then?"

"His father had came to see him. He left to spend time with him."

"Oh. So that's why he has spent time in California."

"Yeah, kinda. He hasn't spoken with his dad for almost for one and a half years. He was just finding where he belongs. Or so I believe."

"But why you think that isn't enough?"

"He has found where he belongs. He doesn't belong here. He's a singer. He and his band have a contract. He can't stay here."

"Have you asked him? Have you asked him if he has found where he belongs? How do you know that the place isn't you."

"I don't. But I can't do this."

"Rory besides you work most of the time from home. You spend one week from a month in office. Why wouldn't you be able to live with him?"

"Ah. Don't do this now."

"Then tell me when?"

Rory stared at the empty coffee cup.

"go" Lane said.

"Where?"

"you know where."

Half an hour later, Rory was standing in front of the hotel where Jess was staying. She walked in and asked to meet him.

"Just a minute." The receptionist said, grabbed the phone and called upstairs if she was able to go up.

I can't do this. I can't.

"You can go up. Room 324." the receptionist said. And Rory left, upstairs.

A/N: There it was. I meant to write 'bout the concert but that'll be on the next chappy. Thanks for reading. Now if you just click the GO-button, and I'll be happy :) NG


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